Take Time to enjoy the "happy" moments

Hi all,

not much advice for today but i have a thought...

Are you enjoying the happy moments in your life?

WE OFTEN SPEND TIME ON THE NAGGING OR NOT SO GOOD MOMENTS,

STOP AND ENJOY WHAT MADE YOU SMILE FOR ONE MINUTE OR FEEL GREAT FOR A DAY!

Be that a phone call,

a smile,

a compliment,

taking a walk in nature or

just thinking of a love one who passed on but left great memories.

We only have one life and it is never ALL bad, not if you look for that one moment that made you or your heart smile.

I don't want any excuses, even if you had to look in the mirror today, be thankful you are alive, you have one eye, both eyes or you may be blind BUT you have great hearing!

yes, there is always some good.

You are walking talking,

or in a modern electronic wheelchair or you use braille...think before our grand and great grand parents many inventions were not in place, so even if you are handicapped, you have a reason to smile.

If you are illiterate, you can learn to read at the library, for FREE!.

If you have no family, God gave you the gift to talk to others and meet new friends that will provide the love you need,

There is no excuse, enjoy the "Happy" in your life!

xo Tanya

smile, you may save a life or change yours!

Lonely for the holidays..

just a reminder, check out legallykidnapped.com my friend is doing a wonderful job keeping us posted on foster care issues facing us today..i plan to hold a rally this summer, i will keep you posted!!

It's that time again folks!

HOLIDAYS...the loneliness days for foster kids or adults without family.

Don't fret i want to tell you, you can still make your holidays pleasant.

As you all know i just lost my baby brother and am still in major pain,

BUT him and i use to always say: the world does not stop when we die! he is right, the bills are still coming, people are still mean or good and i still find a laugh or cry!

I will not, even for the holidays, allow the word "depression" to enter into my vocabulary, and neither should you!

Know that you have purpose, even if you have not discovered it yet!

Know that the universe and God, (if u believe), needs and loves you!

The world would be nothing without you!!!

Follow me.... think of all the lives you have touched with a smile or a kind word...and believe it or not, even if you were "verbally bad", i am willing to bet you touched someone else life by motivating them...(to "exercise" if you called them "fat", is my example, (no offense but in reality a mean person would say that word and i am trying to prove a point).

your ACTION caused a REACTION of some sort, (hopefully not drug use or bad effects).. the point is EVERYONE has a purpose, yes, even the "bad" guys....with that said..... there is no excuse for you to be sad during the holidays, unless you are having a "pity" party...and i already told you those don't work, they just sink you deeper into depression....i want to you think positive and turn this holiday stuff into something joyous from now on!

here are a few ways:

WHEN MY DAUGHTER WAS YOUNG BEFORE WE CELEBRATED THANKSGIVING, WE WOULD:

1. COOK A MEAL AND BRING IT TO NYC AND FEED THE HOMELESS, (ONLY AROUND 15 PEOPLE, BUT HEY, THERE WAS ONLY the KID AND MYSELF!)..

WE WOULD BRING THEM WARM COATS WE GOT FROM FRIENDS OR NEIGHBORS AND THEN WE WOULD GO HOME AND EAT... I NEED THE WORLD TO LEARN GRATITUDE! I AM SO GRATEFUL FOR WHAT I HAVE, I WANT TO GIVE IT TO SOMEONE IN NEED!

2. CALL A FEW OF YOUR FRIENDS HAVE THEM OVER, EVERYONE BRING SOMETHING... REMEMBER SOME PEOPLE HAVE FAMILY, BUT THEY MAY HATE GOING HOME FOR HOLIDAYS DUE TO THEIR OWN ABUSE OR FAMILY ISSUES, TAKE AN OPPORTUNITY TO EXTEND A WELCOME TO YOUR HOME FOR THE HOLIDAY...MAKE SURE YOU HAVE;

GOOD FESTIVE MUSIC,

BRIGHT LIGHTS,

FOOD AND LOTS OF LOVE AND ENERGY FLOWING IN YOUR HOME!

TAKE OUT SOME OLD GAMES LIKE MONOPOLY,

TROUBLE

OR JUST WATCH FOOTBALL!

WHATEVER YOU DO, BRING THE HOLIDAY TO YOUR HOME!! the holiday may have been bad in your childhood but you are grown now, YOU decide how it is going down!

3. Go to a home you are invited to or a church dinner, most places have a community dinner and no its not "family" but you can help serve or sit and find out how others are doing and take the focus off of yourself! Help at a senior home...

Remember: you can never be "lonely" if you are helping others and using up all of your time! i know because that is how i avoid the "depression" state, by staying busy, i learned that from Dale Carnegie...keep busy and by helping others,

become a CASA volunteer,

big brother/sister,

feed the homeless, when you see what others are going through, you have no time to have pity for yourself.

we are humans who are made to persevere through anything!

enjoy the holidays keep happy thoughts in your mind and happy friends nearby....

when no one is around or you don't know anyone take a one night trip, treat yourself to dinner and try to meet people at the place.

When all else fails,

make a nice dinner for yourself,

or order it.

put on a good music or a movie and enjoy you time,

sometimes you have to learn to enjoy yourself before anyone else can!

its OK to be alone for the holidays if you make it fun....

you are so special, know this and live accordingly, xo Tanya

views of Paris...from the stairs...

This is a famous location in Paris. If you go to the top of the stairs, you can see all of Paris!

Why the pic? Sometimes we view life from the top of the stairs, always looking down, wishing we could be amongst the people.

Some of us like to sit everyday at the same location, never moving or trying something new.

Perhaps you are do for a change of scenery, go down the stairs! You will be surprised to find more beautiful scenery, great people, interesting events, a new view.

Point: Take chances, change your pattern. Go somewhere you never went, talk to a perfect stranger, wear a different color, leave at a different time, smile, laugh, don't cry, love and live life as a new adventure!

It appears that as we age, we get use to the same old same, CHANGE is scary but can bring color to your life. Children who grow up in foster care may tend to want familiarity. They may become, comfortable, as an adult you need to break that habit. Life is only fun when you try new things and enjoy each moment for what it really is. These people are not on the stairs because they are boring, they are usually visitors, who like myself, was amazed at the view of Paris from these steps, so they did venture out and climbed the 50 or so stairs it takes to climb the top of Sac Le Cour..

As of today i want you to challenge yourself for adventure and try something new that involves nature and beauty.....

be kind to someone, you never know who's life you saved with a smile..xo Tanya

Laid Off? But how can that be, i went to college!

Life is colorful.....isn't it?

Have you just been laid off from your job due to "budget cuts"?

welcome to the club, the "I did everything right by getting my B.A.S. from NYU", club!!

Laid off, does not discriminate! I know so many people who have great degrees, and cannot find a good job. So what next?

1. Take a deep breath! Your are not alone, millions of people have been laid off due to this "economy" hype. This appears all intentional to create frenzy, congrats, it worked!! If we were in such a rut with our deficit, why did our prez give away money....to the banks! the same criminals who created the "Berne Madoff's" Ponzy schemers of the world, he was one of them!!

2. Don't watch the news or listen to any medium that is trying to scare you to:

get this medicine,

take this shot

go here,

be there

she is hot

he is not

any medium that is trying to scare you to believe you NEED something or need them or their products to survive!

3. find your true talents-what can you do better than anyone else?

see if it can make you money. I believe the new way to the future is anything you can sell on a computer! jewelry, books, whatever you make, do it, it may get you paid and take you out of clone status like most of us that work our jobs we hate!

4. if your rent is paid, you have food, your healthy, you can always make money! use your brain, call all of your contacts!

5. Keep looking. do not stress, you either do or you don't...all you can do is look...

6. if you need help to eat, ask for it, you have paid taxes all your life, don't feel bad if you need some form of government help, its the least they can do in this recession....

7. stay happy and healthy, you can't go anywhere without that...xo

Tanya

how do you know positive thoughts work??

HAVING A NEGATIVE DAY OR A DAY THAT YOU FEEL LIKE YOU WANT TO STOP TRYING SO HARD??

we all have them.

I often test myself on advice i give and yes, life is hard when you don't have the aliments of: family, a loving partner nor a financial backer!

How do you keep your head up after hearing no to all the jobs you applied for?

Do you muster up a smile for the jerk that would not let you get the food you needed because you were a penny short?

what do i do when you have to move, but you have no money saved because you had to use your life savings to bury a sibling?

And last, what do you do when your soul is dragging on the ground because you lost the one person who meant most to you in life?

look around, what do you have? who do you have? you do have something? BE GRATEFUL! gratitude often leads to happiness. appreciate what and who you have NOW!!

Pray

take a walk

meditate

play your favorite music

call a chirpy friend

write in your journal

think of your favorite last memory with the person that died

WHATEVER YOU DO, DON'T GIVE UP AND WITHER AWAY!

Thinking positive does work,

it's just a matter of shifting your thought pattern for the moment.

It may take several tries to change your mood but it works.

I am still in a state of shock about my brothers sudden death,

but i know he is safe because he had a good soul,

i know that he is my guardian angel now, because he would have it no other way,

even in death.

I know that in time i will learn he can help me more now that he crossed over than when he was alive.

I have learned that shifting my thought to something good and electrifyingly happy, always works,

unless i just want to have a pity party, in which,

i just set the alarm to cry and when it sounds,

i have to stop and get it back together!

Pity party's are no fun and i can keep my brothers spirit of love alive by helping foster children succeed.

My brother would have happily died to know he could save a life or a soul.

I will happily live to shift a sad mind to think happy thoughts and know that this too, shall pass...xo

what can you do, in memory of a love one?

Micheal Jackson's sister and i have something else in common, besides loving our brothers immensely, they passed on way too young.

I was talking with a friend today, something told me to call him, it had been a year since i last said hi and over 10 years since we worked together. When i asked him how he was doing, his voice was quiet and he said:"I was fine until my brother died recently, but i am hanging in there" I was stunned, i too had lost my brother 2 days after he lost his, the strangest part was his brothers birthday was the same exact day as my brothers! I worked with him for two years and did not know this.

I want you to know if you lost a loved one recently, death is inevitable and it is not permanent if you can answer: WHAT CAN YOU DO, IN MEMORY OF A LOVE ONE?

It hurts because the person was your sibling, but also because they both was under 45 years old!

The hard part is asking what can you do?

LEAVE, (IF YOU ARE THE ONE WHO DIED), OR GIVE, ( IF YOU ARE THE SIBLING LEFT BEHIND IN MORNING), A LASTING MEMORY.

you have to preserve your love ones memory if you want the pain to ease.

I plan to start a scholarship fund in the name of my brother

for young inner city boys in foster care,

but you can donate clothes to a group home or shelter every holiday

or buy and cook allot of food for thanksgiving and drive to NYC or whatever city near you that have homeless and serve them a packed meal

or ask a local church to use their kitchen

and have a chili drive with cornbread for 1 day a month.

The point is:

there is much to do to preserve ones memory and make sure the dead never dies.

I believe death is only "bad" when you can't create a positive and no one can name a good deed the deceased has done.

Live today helping others and giving back and when its your turn, you will live forever through the memory and kindness of others!

Start your headstone memory today, be kind, loving and memorable...RIP Rob & Riggio

xo Tanya

foster kids, Your opinion is all that really matters!

Foster kids often grow up 2nd guessing themselves,
why you say?
Because they grew up in a system that does not allow them to think for themselves!

In foster care you are told:
what therapist to see,
when to see them
why you have to see them, (that's why therapy does not always work for young kids, they did not go in wanting to address their issues)
they tell you when to wake up,
when to eat, what school to go to,
not to do this and that, to do this and less of that..... you get the point.
At what age does an orphan get to make decisions for him or herself?

AFTER THEY PHASE OUT OF THE SYSTEM!! 18 or 21, TOO LATE!
If you grew up in foster care, please learn to hear your inner voice! Kids in a regular home start using their decision making skills as early as 1st grade! Each grade becomes more your voice than your parents, until around 13, you become either a: follower, leader or drifter who is always clueless! This does not have to be!
If you are in the system, start using your voice when you have the chance.
NOW!
EXAMPLE:
If i was told to see a therapist i did not like, i would nicely tell my counselor or social worker that i did not like this persons style of therapy, and would like to find another.
Unless the therapist is the "house" therapist, they may be able to. (of course they may convince you otherwise),
the point would be to always challenge an idea or suggestion given to you if you do not feel good about it!
Yes, we would like to think the agency has "your" best interest at heart, BUT you should have YOUR best interest at heart always!
Practice saying no to things you do not agree with or you think will hurt you IE, bully's, advice etc..
practice saying YES to what you do want or feel good about,
whatever leads to you being a better person or more informed and NOT hurting anyone mentally, physically or phychologically.

STOP 2nd guessing yourself!
It will all work out,
you did the right thing,
you made the right decision,
your the master of your world!
Just because you grew up in foster care or in a house that did not let you use your decision making skills, does not mean its too late,
start now!
xo, You are the master of your idea,
no one can tell you what is right for you,
YOUR spirit guide always guide you in the right direction and sends you the right people IF you LISTEN to YOUR INNER SELF!!!!
You are brilliant and your a superstar, get your shine on!
xo Tanya